2 Corinthians 5:1-2

So as I am sitting across the kitchen table from my husband this morning doing my quiet time, when we got to talking ( after I was done reading :) ) He was sharing that in his church planting class they were memorizing all of 2 Corinthians 5. They were focusing on 2 verses each week. He invited me to memorize it as well, so he read it aloud out of his translation and then asked me to read out of mine. As I was reading something in me just broke...and I couldn't even finish. It says,
"For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling."
It goes on to talk about our mortal bodies being swallowed up by life! That as long as we are at home in this body we are away from the Lord.
As I sat there trying to pull myself together watching my precious husband at a complete loss for word..just smiling knowing that the Lord was working on my heart over some stronghold...I realized that I have BECOME this destroyed earthly tent...I have let it be my crutch...my idenity....my security...but there will come a day when it is gone...it is swallowed up by life and I will have a heavenly body..one that is glorified! I was sharing with Dwight that this passage hits home so hard for me when I think about all that my body has been through in the 35 almost 36 years of my life( not anything compared to some) but enough. I had always felt like the one who was failing my body!!! In that moment it hit me this body will ALWAYS fail me!!! I am a sinner and this body was born into a sinful and desolate world, conceived by two sinful humans! It was not created perfect and it is going to fail me, but my Savior; my Redeemer; my Creator; He will never fail me..and whenI get to heaven and have a glorified body, this pacemaker will not be a part of it, this womb that struggles with keeping little ones alive will be no more, and this body that aches and groans will groan no more! For I will not only walk the streets of gold I plan to RUN them!!!!!!! I plan to worship my Lord with never ending energy!! Praise the Lord for our Hope is in HIM!!!!!!
Father,
May I not be at home here in this body, but may I desire after my heavenly dwelling, and may I always desire for others to know the TRUTH of heaven! May I not let my failures of this world define me, but may I rest in You. Knowing that these things are only temporal and my heart should be set on things eternal. Thank you for softening my heart to your word..let me never grow apathetic to its power to change me and grow me! May I always know its power to light the way and to bring godly wisdom!